Tuesday, January 6, 2015

Time Stand Still

Next week marks the 5th month of this journey called motherhood and I'm declaring it a state of emergency. Time. please. Stand. Still.

I feel as though I blinked and my tiny baby is now a person. How is this happening so fast?! How have we gone from needing me to support his little neck to now rolling from front to back in a blink of an eye? It's not right, people! What does motherhood expect of me next? Allowing him to sit up on his own? I just can't even. I need more time. I need this "new baby smell" to stay for a few more years.

Along with all of this growing and developing nonsense, we now have an "I'm going to sleep through the night" stud. Okay, in all honesty, this "new" I can totally get behind. You go, Munchie! But, seriously, let's stick to one new trick a year, okay? At that rate, I figure you'll be ready to walk in about 4 years, attend school in about 12 years, start dating in roughly 25 years and then get married in, oh, I don't know, 76 years. Deal?

Truthfully though, the whole mourning of the newborn clothes thing (which is 100% a REAL thing and is currently in progress in our nursery (sob)) and the missing how tiny he "used" to be, pales in comparison to watching your baby grow right before your eyes. It is such an amazing and surreal experience. There is nothing better than watching someone you love discover everything for the first time. To see the world as brand new again is an incredibly special treat. You're given the opportunity to slow down and appreciate just how soft your favorite blanket is, how awestruck you should be by our gorgeous surroundings of sunshine, blue skies, and clouds, how fascinating and entertaining your dog is and how easily you used to give away smiles to the world before you allowed boundaries, stressors and strangers to cast a shadow on your mood.

Over Christmas, my sister in law asked me if I ever look at Nash and think "whoa, you changed again!" In that moment, I hadn't really experienced that yet, but I can say without a doubt that on Sunday night, I looked at Nash and he HAD totally changed. He's so big all of a sudden. He's so happy and so full of life. He's got a personality and loves to watch his world and take it all in. You were so right, Mandy. They can change in an instant! And I'm guessing that whether I'm ready or not, he's not going to slow down on my account. Nor would I want him too. I'm just trying to savor each of these phases, briefly mourn the sunsets on a few things and celebrate each success as they come.

Something tells me my heart may always be a step behind his progress. I'm guessing that's okay though. You gotta have someone to have your back and catch you as you fall and who better to do that than your momma whose heart will forever be just one step behind you.

Wake up, Daddy! Santa came last night!

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