Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Head+Heart= Back on Track

After a heart and head debate on my potential return to Nicaragua this August, I am excited and relieved to have a peace about my upcoming trip. Although finances are slow right now, they have begun to pop up in the exact moments when again, my head starts to doubt the trip. Is it spiritual warfare, I don’t know? Is it just plain fear, quite possibly?

I’m not afraid of any risks, or inadequacies like I was last year, but I think I’ve just felt like something was off because it was. Last year was my first trip. I don’t know if you can ever expect another trip to hold the same feelings of wonder, worry, and the sheer excitement of not knowing what in the world to expect. I went to Nicaragua with strangers and came back with precious bonds that I’ll never forget. I don’t have to see or even speak to my last year’s teammates very often but when I think of them, something happens in my heart. I know that they are the only 17 people who can understand what I felt on that trip and that makes me tied to them in amazing way.

I cannot expect my 2nd trip and any other trip after that, to feel the exact same way. That’s entirely too much pressure. I now realize that my fear was that this trip won’t live up to the last experience, but I also understand that it doesn’t have too. This is not the same trip. The new teammates were chosen for this year’s purpose and I am excited to grow with them and learn along side of 17 more people. This year’s location will be chosen for a reason and that too does not have to be the same for amazing things to ensue. This trip isn’t about me and shouldn’t be, but sadly I think that it was in my head, whether I was aware of it or not.

God has a plan. He never did not have a plan for this trip. I was just not giving myself readily over to that plan, but am relieved to be back on track. Nicaragua, here I come!

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Heaven on a Stick

After brainstorming ideas for something new, something with flare, to bring on my “breakfast day” at the office, I recently discovered a new breakfast treat. Surely there was something other than bagels, donuts, and cereal one can chose from to treat her co-workers to breakfast. Other co-workers had gone for yogurt parfait stations, gourmet muffins the size of my head, homemade goodies, etc… How does one top such meals, especially on a budget?!

Can’t beat ‘em? Can’t join ‘em? What’s left but to do a complete 180! (Insert the frozen food isle) That is where I stumbled across a little slice of heaven on a stick. Piggies ‘n Pancakes...What?! A sausage link, wrapped in a pancake, the hint of syrup, all atop a wooden stick. Who knew such a thing existed? Suddenly the fair meets breakfast. It’s brilliant really!

Friday and again this morning I gave in to my urge for a Piggie ‘n Pancake. I sat in my cubicle and allowed two worlds collide…the fair meets my office. Never before have I been more content under the florescent lighting, amongst the piles of paper and low hum of the copy machines.

Now if only I can figure out how to turn my desk into a ski ball machine…

Monday, May 4, 2009

Some Do, Some Don't, You Did.

This weekend at a silent auction that I held for my cadet employees, one of my callers came up to me and unexpectedly handed me a card with my name on the front. I didn't think anything more than "aww, that's sweet" at the time. After about an hour of playing the role of "host", I snuck back to a quiet area to read the card. The front simply said "Some Do, Some Don't, You Did". Inside of the card were some of the most precious words I've ever read (plus a movie gift card as well).

As I sat there with tears in my eyes, and pride in my heart for this amazing young person, I relished in the moment he created for me. Apparently I have made a difference in his life, and whether or not it was intentional at all times, it happened.

This May I am graduating 7 seniors, 4 of which are my Supervisors who have been with me since their sophomore year. I love working in higher education, but I hate this part. I hate spending day in and day out with people, growing with them and sharing with them my passion for The Citadel and for fundraising for their alma mater, only to have them graduate and move on. I guess I actually don't hate it as much as I just miss them when they leave. I miss their faces and their personalities that make the call center a fun place to be. I miss their ability to constantly ask me questions when I'm trying to get something else done. I miss their teasing. I miss their low chatter at night, and the fact that they are always hungry, and that no matter how many times I adjust it, there is not a temperature on our office thermostat is pleasing to everyone.

Thank you, Austin, for making my day with your card. Thank you for saying "thank you for everything". Thank you for standing by a brand new Boss three years ago and for growing alongside of me when a lot of my methods were a result of trial and error. And last but not least, thank you for growing into one of the best alumnus that I've had the pleasure to work with at The Citadel. I'm proud of you, as I know you have a very bright future ahead of you!

Congrats to all my seniors! TCF won't be the same without you!