Wednesday, March 26, 2014

The Name Game

Can I just start off by saying all those baby name books that claim to have 1,000 names, should really be called books that have 935 really random, comical, "I'd never ever name my child that" names and roughly 65 real people names? If you do not already own one, save yourself the moola. Thankfully, we were given a book to use from friends of ours. Otherwise, I'd be back at Barnes and Noble requesting something a bit more helpful like "Baby Naming for Dummies" or "Names That Will Not Get Your Son Whooped On The Playground" books. True story.

Although we're working on it daily, I'm convinced we'll be those  parents who are not allowed to leave the hospital without declaring a more concrete moniker than Baby Boy Freiberg.  I've seen that Lifetime movie and it didn't end well.

I can, however, declare there are a few names that we have successfully vetoed for one reason or another. They either gave us a laugh or took us longer than 30 seconds to pronounce correctly.

For your reading pleasure, I give you the following "real" names, according to the 1,000 names disclaimer:
  • Pierpont- Tim actually likes this one. Me, I think it just sounds like a bridge in a bad part of town.
  • Pepe- This one makes me laugh and I like to randomly work it into baby conversations with the Hubs.
  • Nemo- Yep, this was actually in the book. Tim dismissed it immediately as we'd "constantly be trying to find him." He's a funny one, that Hubs of mine.
  • Fritztopher- Okay, I totally made this name up one night, but I secretly love it. And I really like Fritz. Tim denied me the joy of Fritztopher, but go ahead and say it out loud. You cannot say that name and not feel happy. Really.
  • Remus- Um, I don't even know. Book authors, seriously?
  • Layafette
  • Achilles
  • Festus- This one is way too close to "fetus" for my liking. He'd be destined to be tiny and frail.
  • Balfour- I'm pretty sure this is the name of the company who makes high school class rings.
  • Philangee- I do believe we studied these in anatomy class. No thanks.
And there you have it friends. People actually get paid to come up with these names AND people actually go out and buy them with the hope that buried amongst the rubbish is the perfect name. I'm apparently in the wrong business. I KNOW I can do better than Philangee. How about you?

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