Thursday, November 21, 2013

Really, Pinterest?!

Well, folks, it's that time of year again when Pinterest throws a million and one ideas at me for holiday décor and goodies, and all I can do is laugh at how much time some people must have on their hands. May I have one or two of those frivolous hours, pretty please?

I love a good "pin" here and there, but for the most part, this time of year makes my pinning breaks a little less enjoyable. Well, sometimes when the pins are really absurd, it actually makes my pinning break that much more enjoyable, but for the most part, I just sit there and shake my head. Pinterest, ain't nobody got time for that!!

In a nod to my similar post in 2012, I give you a few of my favorite, colossal waste of time pins from our dear pals at Pinterest:

 Just a head's up here, if I'm serving you chips as my guests, it's because I'm too lazy to make any other form of potato. No potato salad, no mashed potatoes, and forget scalloped while you're at it. Therefore, I can guarantee you that I will not be "scalloping" any baggie that your portion of chips might come in. And for the record, if I'm serving chips, they'll be making their grand appearance in a bowl. Just one big ole bowl. Peace out, individual brown, fancy baggies. Don't be ridiculous.

For starters, I think this tree is ugly. What are we trying to accomplish here, people? Is it a birthday party/Christmas tree/giant water balloon toss storage unit? If you have time to blow up all of those balloons, power to the people. My guess is that it's also super fun to adhere those balloons to each prickly branch. Hours and hours of fun and cursing for the whole family, while your dog and children have small heart attacks each time one pops.
And nothing says Christmas quite like a rainbow, right? Riiiigggghhhhttt.
I'm about 50% on board with the pin below. I do love to throw some fresh pine cones in a pretty bowl. But that's where I call it a day. I'm pretty sure if the Hubs walked in and I'm wrapping individual pine cones in festive yarn while watching the Real Housewives, he may suggest a few other things I could be doing around the house that are a bit more productive. You know, like changing the ink in our pens, dusting our light bulbs, or counting the seams in our crown molding.
If you're giving me Tic Tacs for Christmas, a post-it note and a sharpie with the whole "snow man poop" jargon will suffice. We'll both giggle for a second on how clever you are and then I'll eat the breath mints steadily over time and everyone will win. I can't think of any reason why fabric and a sewing machine must enter into the equation. No, for real.
You all know how I feel about the whole Elf on the Shelf already, so on this one, I'll just leave it at "Just no." Step away from the sugar and the Barbie car. YOU will be the ones cleaning that up, mom and dad. Can we just all agree to buy the dang elf, move him around a bit and leave the messes to your real, human children? At least when THEY make the mess, THEY get to clean it up.
Lastly, this one might be one of my favorites. I don't know about the men in your life, but the men in mine who drink Budweiser, would be completely happy with the free 6 pack. Slap some googly eyes and pipe cleaners on those "Bud heavies" and you've just taken away their manhood. Just like that, one stick on eye at a time. Just give the men some free beer and save the craft time for your kids. Men do not need "Reinbeer" any more than I need a sewn case for my "snow man poop".  
On that, I am certain.
Happy Pinning, Everyone!!
It's only just begun...

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