Wednesday, December 12, 2012

Ain't Nobody Got Time For That, Pinterest!

My family loves us some Sweet Brown. If you haven't meet her gloriousness yet, take about 45 seconds and check her out here
As I scroll through image upon image thanks to Facebook and Pinterest, I struggle between what one human can realistically complete in the 2 weeks leading up to Christmas, and what quite frankly I just ain't got time for.

If it were up to Pinterest, I would spend my evenings listening to holiday carols of yesteryear while...
  • Wrapping the base of my entire wine glass collection in tinsel for our party guests. Cute, but um, no.
  • Have 7 different trees in my home, all with different themes, and every one of them looking like Martha S. herself stopped by and just "whipped up a lil somethin' somethin'".
  • Wrapping individual chocolate chips in foil for little elf on the shelf sized hershey kisses. Seriously, who DOES have time for that?! I'd like to meet that person outside of their Pinterest haze.
    • And while I'm on the topic, I don't really understand the whole elf on the shelf bandwagon anyway. Granted, I may eat my words once I have kids, but A) I'm pretty sure he'll have faded from coolness by the time my future kiddos are old enough to understand  B) I'm hoping by then parents will realize that he/she is more effort than they're worth. I hate cleaning up messes already, so why would I EVER want to make a mess, blame it on an elf of which I have to constantly remember to move, and then have to clean up said mess myself?! That's just crazy town, y'all! My kids will be more worried about me narking them out to Santa than some plastic elf, trust me on that one! and finally C) I hope to have plenty of magic in our home with Jesus' miraculous birth and the magic of Santa himself. Done and done.
And just to give you a few beautiful, yet annoying visuals, Pinterest would also have me...

Make miles of garland out of the 8,423 ball ornaments that I happen to have laying around. Riiggghhtt.

Package adorable vintage-esque homemade macaroons and adorn them with hand covered buttons and twine. Have you ever tired to make macaroons? They're no joke. If I tackle this some day, count on Chips A'hoy inside those cute little boxes.

Construct a 4-D Veggie Christmas tree. That thing is so intricate that I'd be furious if anyone so much as touched one of the carrots let alone ate them. #backawayfromtheveggies

Paint teeny tiny Christmas trees on each of my nails. Sadly I don't even have the patience or skill level to simply paint them red without smudges.

Hide surprise strawberries in my perfectly erected Christmas tree cupcakes. Surprise, you'll enjoy my store bought cupcakes instead!

Make the world's cutest hot cocoa stirs. Again, adorable, I get it. But on a side note, who wants jelly beans in your cocoa anyway? Not this chica.

Construct homemade candy cane vases for my holiday centerpieces. Um, I wasn't even aware that I was supposed to offer holiday centerpieces.  In my family, you just put delicious food on the table and every one's happy. I don't ever recall anyone saying "Grandma, this ham is amazing, but where's your roses?"

Pinterest, I love you. I really do.
You challenge me daily to be a more creative homeowner, you bring laughter to my lips every time I see a puppy wearing glasses or a squirrel wearing pajamas, and you put delicious new recipes on my table that look like a million bucks but incredibly only had 4 ingredients...
But this year, when it comes to your overzealous outlook on Christmas, Ain't nobody got time for that!

At least not in my home.

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