Changing the Course

Today I begin the process to completely change someone's course. I dislike having this much power. I dislike it greatly. And yet, at the same time, I feel as though I hold zero of the power in our relationship. Funny how that works.

Today I begin the process of taking away someone's home. Their safe place. Their little slice of the world. Where it gets tricky is that "their" little slice is owned by me. I'm letting them borrow what was once my little slice of the world, and my favorite slice at that. It, however, came with an agreement on what it costs to own and operate that place, and sadly, that agreement is no longer being upheld.

I lost the power when someone I trusted let go of their promise. And when they let go, I had to pick up the pieces. No one asked me if I could afford it. No one asked me if I minded. No one gave me a choice in that matter, so now they force me to invoke the one choice that have. It was my last choice and I wanted so badly to do anything but.

Today someone must begin to pack up their life and find a new slice of the world and I must figure out what to do with it yet again. I hate knowing that I have to be a person who must kick someone out of their home, but they've given me no choice. Their choices left me without one.

I feel sick for me AND for them. I feel like it's hard to breathe right now. I'm guessing, somewhere 1,000 miles away, they're struggling to catch the same air. We both lost today.