True confession, I'm a burn the candle at both ends kind of girl. Always have been and I hope I always will be one. I want to make the most of my life and if that requires some candle burning, bring it on. However, with all of that being said, I'm starting to feel as though I'm burning about 25 candles at both ends right now and I think it's catching up to me more than I like to admit.
With my very exciting wedding plans upon me, of which I am not complaining about at all because I am in love with figuring out every detail, my mind is constantly in overload mode. And when you add in my full time career where I'm co-hosting a conference for a few hundred invitees, coaching college cheerleading part-time, and now chairing and planning a community event for 250 local teens, I'm afraid I'm starting to come undone.
I'm tempted daily to schedule reminders to breathe, eat, sleep through the night without waking up in a panic over prom dresses or managing entertainment for a 200 person volunteer dinner, etc... And aside from forgetting to breathe about 15 times a day, I'm starting to feel like there is a lunatic trapped in my small frame. Things are starting to come out of my mouth that I haven't approved yet mentally. Things that sound ungrateful and often times negative, which are in no part a reflection of how I'm truly feeling. I also slightly fear a meltdown in the near future, and I'm praying that I can get in front of it before it unravels its ugly self.
For a planner and candle burner like me, crazy can be a great thing when harnessed. I just need to contain and redirect the crazy a little better into thankfulness for all of the recent events and blessings that the Lord has entrusted to me. And I'm convinced the Lord must think that I am an amazing multi-tasker to allow me the responsibility of said events. With prayer, sleep and a lot of scheduled deep breaths, I'm sure we'll have amazing success for those we'll get to reach and serve.
I'm just praying to turn the crazies to thanks, and in the meantime, if you see or hear any abnormal behavior or feisty behavior out of me, please kindly shake me, slap my cheek and tell me to "get it together". Then please follow with a hug because you never want to end with a slap when dealing with a lunatic;)