Monday, April 20, 2015

The One Time I Was Early

Have you ever had that dream where you show up for a party but there's really no party. It's just you and the hosts staring blankly back at you? Yeah, me too. Although mine wasn't a dream. It was the real deal and it was humiliating.

Last summer, I was roughly 38 weeks pregnant and it was hot and humid and my brain was mush as we approached the last few weekends of hurry up and wait prep for our little man, AND it was my cousin's son's Bday party weekend. So the Hubs and I ventured off to Oregon, IL, roughly 45 minutes away, for said Pirate party. I was excited to see the family, relax and crush some cake. Or so I thought.

My cousins live out in the country with a long driveway leading to their home and barn. At first glance, I didn't think anything of all the cars in the drive. They usually have 50+ people at their parties so the crowd seemed appropriate. That was until I noticed that every single car in the drive was a huge pick up truck. "Where's grandma's car?" I asked Tim. "Where's Tanner's car? They're never late." This is odd, I thought to myself, BUT there were still a ton of cars and activity so we grabbed our pirate gift and headed into the barn amongst the crowd.

Ummm, I didn't know pirates ate crap tons of sweet corn? Who knew?! I, once again, thought to myself. And as I watched 20 men hauling tubs of sweet corn into a huge water basin and about 10 women shucking corn in the center of the room, I suddenly realized that this was no pirate party. Not even close. This was some sort of sweet corn party that we surely had not been invited to. Awkwarddddddddddd.

As we found my cousin amongst the corn, she shockingly questioned "what are you doing here? Were in the neighborhood?" In that moment, I should've just said yes. Yep, we're totally in the neighborhood. 45 minutes from home and randomly in your neighborhood aka the country and just thought we'd drop by today for what appears to be a corn party of great proportions and then again TOMORROW when the actual BIRTHDAY party is scheduled. OMG, ya'll. It wasn't bad enough that we were there a day early, but we had somehow crashed a corn party. And when a 38 weeks preggo woman thinks she's getting cake and is offered a bag of sweet corn instead, it's just sad. Tragic really. And because I was swollen and exhausted and it was hot and we had already driven almost 2 hours round trip the day before, we never even made it to the pirate party the next day. It was a total loss.

And, that my good people, is why I NEVER go anywhere early. Or on time for that matter. Even if you're late to a party, you usually still walk away with cake. You go early and you might be rewarded with corn. Crap tons of corn.

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