Thursday, March 26, 2015


Consider this my good deed of the day, y'all. What I'm about to tell you will spare you from future snacking incidents that may involve gagging, dry heaving, or gnashing of teeth. You're welcome.

With the Hubs and I taking a road trip into the suburbs to hit up one of my favorite grocery stores, Trader Joe's (which we do not have in our city, sadly), I mapped out my grocery list "must haves" in advance thanks to Pinterest and foodie blogger recommendations. Well. Let me tell you. One of those bloggers is a dang liar. A bold-faced liar of maximum proportions.

Some of the items on my beloved, well thought out and researched list were:
Goddess Salad dressing
Authentica Salsa
Various wines
Creamy Toscana Cheese w/ Syrah
White Bean & Basil Hummus
Chocolate Croissants
Seaweed Snacks
Gorgonzola Crackers
Chicken Dumplings
Coconut Oil
Mushroom Ravioli

Can you guess which item led me completely astray????

I'll give you a clue, which should've been a clue for's a dehydrated snack from the sea.

Yep, I'm convinced that Trader Joe's Seaweed Snacks are straight from the devil. O.M.Goodness, they are nasTy, with a capital T! I should've known when I pulled them out of the package and they resembled green, paper thin squares of fishiness. It looked like straight up fish food, but in sheet form. Gag.

Being the food optimist that I am, I took a bite. I mean, the blogger said they were delicious and healthy. Nowhere in her review of the "Best 10 Items at Trader Joe's" did she say "oh yeah, and avoid the seaweed snacks. They'll make you spit them out in your office trash can in a moment of sheer panic." Liar. The only thing you must try in terms of these green snacks is avoidance. Stay far, far away. And don't be fooled by the $.99 price tag. I'd play $99.00 not to ever let one of those sheets of gnarl touch my tongue again.

And in the wise words of the great theologian, Forest Gump "And that's all I have to say about that."

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