Slap Yo Momma Cold

It's cold, y'all. Like slap yo momma cold and I'm not liking this one bit. Why did I leave the south again???

This morning, this is what my weather app shared with me:

-27 wind-chill? And why did they not cancel school?

And just to give you friends a glimpse into just how cold this place really is...

• My 6 month old slept with fuzzy socks on his hands and a fleece hat all night long to keep him warm inside of our heated home.
• The air in my tires starts to go flat when temps get this cold.
• Our office door will not stay shut. Why, you ask? Because it's so cold that the door is shrinking. The DOOR is SHRINKING, people. How does that even happen?
• I've been inside for an hour now after walking approximately 40 feet from my car to the building and I still cannot feel my toes.
• Yesterday, after walking in the cold and wind to a campus event, my eardrums burned for 20 minutes. I could not tell you what the speaker said for the first 20 minutes, because when your ears have been THAT cold, all you can think about is whether or not extreme cold can cause permanent deafness.

If you live somewhere right now that's experiencing frigid temps, my heart feels for you. It truly does. Unless your frigid temps are 20 degrees or higher. At that point, I'm likely to tell you to go find a hoodie and suck it up. Come back to me when it's cold enough to take your breath away for a second when you step outside. At that point, we can commiserate while cuddling under a blanket with a nice glass of red.

Stay warm, y'all!