Wednesday, July 23, 2014

Not Just for Moms

I came across an article today about a husband who blamed his wife for their messy house, and although it was written with stay at home moms in mind, I think it also speaks for us working women, mom or not. Worth a share? I thought so. So here we are (article link below). Let's discuss, shall we?

If you come to my house on any given day, a Pottery Barn catalog it does not make. There is often more dust than I'd like, and piles of mail (my mail, never the Hubs) stacked on the kitchen counter in various places. I loathe mail. Sure, cards are a fun and rare treat, but other than that, opening mail is probably on my top 10 list of tasks I despise like going to the dentist, public speaking, etc... I digress.

There is usually clean laundry folded in the living room and our shoes in two chaotic piles by our back door. I cringe when someone stops by. Not because I don't love having company, which I DO, but more so because I am embarrassed about the state of our nest. I'm sure my mom cringes when she comes over. Her house is always in order. This apple fell faaaarrrrr from the tree when it comes to this particular subject. Sorry, mom.

As I read the article this morning, I began to see my home and even myself in a different light. Could my home be tidier? Well, duh. Do I have a lot to work on in this realm of personal growth? Um, do bears poo in the woods?

With that being said and aired for all to see, here is what I learned from today's read:

Sometimes my life trumps my dust. More often than not, I'll chose to spend my time with friends and family and the Hubs over opening my mail or putting away the clean clothes piles. By the grace of God and a few loose screws, I'm hard wired to want to be involved in my community. I often find myself running from one committee meeting to the next, after working all day, only to make it home in time to cook dinner for us. By the time we eat at 7:00pm or sometimes closer to 8pm if I've had an event, the last thing I want to do is to dust our TV stand. So I crash into the couch, lift my feet up, and watch something that finally lets my mind rest, all while staring at the dust during commercials thinking "I really need to clean that. Tomorrow." And then tomorrow comes and the whole circus of work meetings and committee meetings and events starts all over again, and guess what? The dust remains and the internal shame grows another layer.

Although I don't have kids and I'm not a stay at home mom,  I still run around like a crazy person all week. Nine times out of ten, the Hubs and I will say blissfully to each other on a Sunday evening "we don't have anything planned in the evenings this week" and we'll take a huge sigh of relief and relish in the fleeting fantasy of one week without any obligations or commitments. By Tuesday, we're typically booked solid until the weekend. I wouldn't change it (well, I wouldn't change most of it), but come the weekend, this soon to be momma is beyond exhausted. I've used up all energy sources, my feet are swollen and achy and I'm just done. And so grows the dust and the guilt when I choose to nap or just be still on the weekends in between wedding rentals. Are you seeing the same pattern here that I'm seeing?

So if you come to our home and there's laundry in the living room, less than perfect floor boards, piles of hoarded mail and dust, please know that while I may not be tidying up my home as much as you AND I would like, what's more important to me in this stage in my life is the fact that I'm working hard to try and tidy up a bigger home. This city Tim and I and our son call home. If given the choice, I will most likely choose to help Transform Rockford or help chair an event for a great and worthy cause before I'll tackle the laundry pile. Sure, I'll get to my house before we have planned visitors, but sometimes the mess just isn't my first priority. It can't be. Not right now when I can still serve without missing my kids bedtimes or picking them up from school due to a late meeting. Right now are my "yes" years when asked to pitch in. Soon the "I'm sorry, I just can't help right now" years will be upon us, but until then, the dust can wait. I know because it's been waiting and that junk has yet to disappear on its own. Sigh.

Anyone else feel like this?


Clint said...

I'm the author the article you mentioned. Thank you for your awesome response!


Clint Edwards

Brittany F. said...

Clint, I am flattered to have you visit my little corner of the internet. Thank you for writing such a powerful piece. I stumbled across it at the perfect moment and have thought it about daily since I read your words. Thank you!