Let Me be Me

One of my favorite bands sings an amazing song called “Let Me be Myself” and as I sat in my car yesterday and listened to those words, it struck me on a deeper level of how opposite I’ve lived from these lyrics on my journey:

Lately I'm so tired of waiting for you
To say that it's ok, but tell me
Please, would you one time
Let me be myself
So I can shine with my own light
And let me be myself
For a while, if you don't mind
Let me be myself
So Ican shine with my own light
Let me be myself

That's all I've ever wanted from this world
Is to let me be me

In dating relationships in the past I would often find myself second guessing every little thing I said to the point that my friends would tell me I was being ridiculous. Every time I called someone, just because I was thinking about them, I would later second guess whether or not they’d think I was annoying, etc… I’m also guilty of putting that burden onto others. I too have asked people to be more or less of “them”. What right do I have to do such a thing? When a relationship would end it would rock my world because I would assume it was something that I had done or something that I was not that they needed in another person.

What it’s taken me 30 years to learn though, is that in reality it doesn’t matter if I am not what someone else needs. I am me. I am what I need. Plain and simple. I am wired up specifically to be me and no one else. Last night my small group discussed the verses below that we’ve all heard a thousand times, yet it also hit me deeper:

Psalm 139:13
Oh yes, you shaped me first inside, then out; you formed me in my mother's womb. I thank you, High God—you're breathtaking! Body and soul, I am marvelously made! I worship in adoration—what a creation! You know me inside and out, you know every bone in my body; You know exactly how I was made, bit by bit, how I was sculpted from nothing into something. Like an open book, you watched me grow from conception to birth; all the stages of my life were spread out before you, The days of my life all prepared before I'd even lived one day.

Listening to the 3 Doors Down lyrics last night after sitting in a group with beautiful, Godly girls who are all so different, (and thank God we are), and coupled with knowing that God himself, formed me in His image should be and will be enough for me. He made me to be me, and He did it marvelously the Bible states. He knew I wouldn’t say all the right things and He knew that I’d call people when I thought of them, and yet He didn’t cringe. When I was formed he didn’t ask for a mulligan, yet instead He lined up good works for me to complete. Why did He not cringe at who I am? Because He made me, with His two hands! And for that, I not only feel marvelous, but I am so thankful!