Show & Tell: Momfessionals

Today I'm linking up with Andrea for the January edition of Show & Tell: Momfessionals (aka...mom confessions). I've already read a few of the momfessionals over on Andrea's page and many of them had me laughing and nodding my head in agreement. There's a certain unity in our survival mechanisms of which I am pleased to know I'm not the only one.
United we stand, mommas!

Without further ado...

• I loathe the bedtime routine of changing the diaper, changing into jammies and brushing Nash's teeth. He screams and fights the toothbrush the entire time and by the end of the day, I have zero fight left in me. I do, however, rule the bedtime story, rocking and singing of a lullaby or two. Once in his room, I nail bedtime every night. Everything leading up to that I gladly hand over to his dad. Sorry, Hubs.
• I've recently noticed that I overuse the phrase "I'm going to let you do that" when it comes to changing a rank diaper, brushing of said teeth, putting Nash in his car seat, etc... I'm hoping that if I word it as though I am "gifting" my husband the task opportunity, that it will appear more appealing and super selfless. Let's not ask Tim how he perceives it, OK? 
• There is one act of toddlerhood that cuts right through me and can make me see red on the spot...throwing of food. I truly make an effort to prepare things for dinner that I think Nash will enjoy (that are also nutritious) only to have some of them thrown on our floor, table or even worse, at me. Momfessional alert here>>>>I almost lose my mind if the food hits me. Oh, no you didn't!
• I stay up WAY TOO LATE watching mindless TV or playing on my phone and Facebook simply because I can. No one needs me after 9pm, no one needs anything for that matter, so I can simply just be. Are there more constructive things I could be doing? Duh. But I've been constructive all the live-long day and I'm done. DONE. I just want to be a blob who will pay for it the next morning.
• I still put my 17 month old in his baby swing when I need a break (minus the mobile so don't panic). He's a little peanut so he still fits comfortably and he enjoys the coziness of it while watching a show, so why the heck not milk that thing. I joke that I'll still put him in that thing when he's 7 but secretly I'm not joking. Seriously, do they make them in big kid sizes? Graco, I'm talking to you.

• I'm a proud germaphobe. P.R.O.U.D and I make no apologies. While 9 months pregnant, and already exuding beauty from every angle, I got pink eye and the doc thought it was probably from a grocery cart. Picture being almost 10 months pregnant in the heat of August AND you have a swollen shut, gooey eye. Ain't nobody got time for that. I felt bad that people even had to look at me as I looked freakishly similar to Sloth from the Goonies. I will forever sanitize grocery carts, restaurant tables, my child, etc... If it's not moving, I'll probably sanitize it.

Hang in there fellow mommas! We've got this, secrets and all.