The Long and Shorter of It

Shorts make me sad this summer.

1) They make me sad because my legs are so pale that I've tucked my shorts away for next year when I pray to the Lord above that I have tanner skin that won't scare small children when the sun reflects off of my opalescent legs with blinding force.

2) They make me terribly sad because they seem to be disappearing at a rapid rate. Seriously, where have all the shorts gone?! I see them walking around the grocery store, in retail stores, on the college campus where I work, etc...but they appear to vanishing before my very eyes. Why have all the shorts become the size of exaggerated undies? Why are 12 year old girl's little, innocent cheeks hanging onto the fabric for dear life? Where are the parents in all of this?

I know I'm not a parent to an actual human, aka just a puppy mom for the time being, but I can't imagine ever being okay with my young, teenage daughter walking around in "booty shorts". Doesn't it hurt their heart to see their daughters pretty much on display for the world to see? Why is this okay? And designers, would it hurt to add a little more fabric to the trends this summer? "Cool" is apparently what you tell us is cool, so please be kind and dole out a little extra fabric and respect for those who trust your fashion sense.

Today as I drove home for lunch, I had the untimely opportunity to ride behind a teenage girl on her bicycle in the tiniest shorts I've ever seen. My bloomers from my cheerleading days had more coverage honestly. As she pedaled in front of me, I could tell that she was uncomfortable and I shared in her un-comfortableness. Part of me was thankful that I was the one behind her and not a man who'd have no business seeing a "child" like that, but at the same time, even I felt like I was seeing more of her than I should be. Who wins in that situation? Certainly not me, and hopefully not her.

I know we all have the right to wear what we want, where we want and how we want, but I just pray that there are parents out there that say "No way. Not today and not any day until your 18 and can decide what to show off to the world." Undies are not shorts and shorts are not undies and somewhere along the way, I think we've all gotten a little confused. The last time I checked, denim panties sounded like a good idea to no one. Ever.