My Brain is Mush

After 7 hours of software training today, it's official, my brain is fried. I am exhausted from absorbing way more "technology" than I am used too. How do some people make a living by working on software, computers, etc... I think I'd rather go to the dentist every day. Seriously.

Let Me be Me

One of my favorite bands sings an amazing song called “Let Me be Myself” and as I sat in my car yesterday and listened to those words, it struck me on a deeper level of how opposite I’ve lived from these lyrics on my journey:

Lately I'm so tired of waiting for you
To say that it's ok, but tell me
Please, would you one time
Let me be myself
So I can shine with my own light
And let me be myself
For a while, if you don't mind
Let me be myself
So Ican shine with my own light
Let me be myself

That's all I've ever wanted from this world
Is to let me be me

In dating relationships in the past I would often find myself second guessing every little thing I said to the point that my friends would tell me I was being ridiculous. Every time I called someone, just because I was thinking about them, I would later second guess whether or not they’d think I was annoying, etc… I’m also guilty of putting that burden onto others. I too have asked people to be more or less of “them”. What right do I have to do such a thing? When a relationship would end it would rock my world because I would assume it was something that I had done or something that I was not that they needed in another person.

What it’s taken me 30 years to learn though, is that in reality it doesn’t matter if I am not what someone else needs. I am me. I am what I need. Plain and simple. I am wired up specifically to be me and no one else. Last night my small group discussed the verses below that we’ve all heard a thousand times, yet it also hit me deeper:

Psalm 139:13
Oh yes, you shaped me first inside, then out; you formed me in my mother's womb. I thank you, High God—you're breathtaking! Body and soul, I am marvelously made! I worship in adoration—what a creation! You know me inside and out, you know every bone in my body; You know exactly how I was made, bit by bit, how I was sculpted from nothing into something. Like an open book, you watched me grow from conception to birth; all the stages of my life were spread out before you, The days of my life all prepared before I'd even lived one day.

Listening to the 3 Doors Down lyrics last night after sitting in a group with beautiful, Godly girls who are all so different, (and thank God we are), and coupled with knowing that God himself, formed me in His image should be and will be enough for me. He made me to be me, and He did it marvelously the Bible states. He knew I wouldn’t say all the right things and He knew that I’d call people when I thought of them, and yet He didn’t cringe. When I was formed he didn’t ask for a mulligan, yet instead He lined up good works for me to complete. Why did He not cringe at who I am? Because He made me, with His two hands! And for that, I not only feel marvelous, but I am so thankful!

A Sheltered Life

As I imagine many offices around the country are in the same boat this week, my office has been debating the Michael Phelps Marijuana debacle relentlessly.

I think the only general consensus that I'm walking away from each debate with is the feeling that I must lead a VERY sheltered life! Apparently America is overrun with professional hippies. Does everyone I know partake in the illegal drug?

I've heard so many people argue the fact that it should be legalized, but the bottom line is that it is still illegal. Period. I do not feel sorry for someone who chooses to partake in an illegal activity, outside of jay-walking, and then cries "poor me, I was just having fun" when they get caught. You choose, you loose. When you set yourself apart from everyone else in the world and when the whole world stops what they are doing in August to cheer you on and support your dreams and goals, you cannot be angry when the whole world feels as though your blatant poor choice should make headline news.

I understand that no one is perfect and I am far from it on a daily basis. The difference is that I do try to avoid choices that would allow others to doubt my integrity. And I have to think that someone who has set himself up to be a role model for kids across the world, would try and do the same.

No Me Gusto el Peso!

I have never been more excited to see a dollar bill than I am this week. I learned fairly quickly that I am horrible at math while visiting Cancun last week! For starters, why does every location in Cancun tell you the rate for pesos to $'s is different? I guarantee that if you walk into 5 different stores on the way home from work tonight, the dollar bill will carry the exact same worth.

And why, does everyone in Cancun (and yes, everyone, even our 5 star hotel) try and rip you off? Our taxi driver said that "without American tourism in Cancun, there would be no Cancun". With that in mind, why does everyone try to short change you, confuse you, etc... I don't care if the margaritas are flowing down there like contaminated water, 2 made in china magnets are not worth $20. Period. I may be confused by simple division equations, but I am not dumb.

I miss some aspects of beautiful Cancun makes me want to run out and spend dollar bills all over our glorious country!

Top Ten Things I Learned in My 20's

10. I love working in the non-profit sector, regardless of the not so great pay.
9. If I can survive a lay-off and being jobless as a brand new home owner for 4 months, I can survive almost anything.
8. I need to take better care of myself. "Burning the candle at both ends" just doesn't fly anymore.
7. Love is messy.
6. Love is confusing.
5. Girlfriends truly do become like family and you'll need them more than you'd ever imagine.
4. I can survive outside of my comfort zone, with absolute strangers, in a 3rd world country, when it means that I will able to help someone in need.
3. I am going back to that third world country in the next decade as well.
2. The older I get, the more I grow and learn. The more I grow and learn, the more I like myself. The more I like myself, the more I am able to truly like and appreciate others.
1. Leaving my 20's behind isn't as scary as I thought. It's actually kind of refreshing.

Good "awe" versus bad "awe"

Today, yet again, I've found myself awestruck. Not the awestruck you feel when someone tells you they're expecting their first child or when you witness a breathe-taking sunset. No, it's more the awe you feel when someone does something so unbelievably horrible and unjust that you are left without words. Awe that when continuously bombarded with it, makes you sick to your stomach.

I knew I was going into my 2009 fasting season with some prayer requests, but the growing "awe" that surrounds me only reiterates my need for guidance, direction, and peace.

Here's to hoping tomorrow is Awesome. Not Awe-ful.

21 Days of fasting...Here We Go!

The fast will begin (for me) tonight at sundown. Our church has begun a voluntary fast for 21 days, along with 250 other churches across the country, and although I know that this will be a huge undertaking for me, I want to be on board as much as possible!

Fasting is something I’ve done in the past, especially as a Catholic during Lent, but I’ve never fasted more than one thing at a time. I’ve done chocolate, TV and movies, caffeine, etc...and as a child I’d always try to give up peas or homework, until my mom explained to me that giving up something you already despise doesn’t count as a “sacrifice”.

Before embarking on this 21 day journey through hunger pains and caffeine withdrawal, it’s important for me to determine what it is I am actually fasting for. Along with my church, I will fast for 3 reasons:

1. Direction for Seacoast in 2009. Where are we headed and what do we feel the Lord is calling us towards as we kick off a new year.
2. That Seacoast will be able to sell the plot of land along 526 that’s been sitting, unused for a couple of years.
3. For our Country! I will fast and pray for wisdom for our leaders, safety for our men and women fighting for our freedom, peace both on our soil and foreign soil, and for our economy and those who have lost jobs, homes, and hope in 08/09.

For myself, I will fast for my own reasons that I will keep more personal, but they will encompass personal direction, purpose, and the well-being of my family.

Although most people will try and stick strictly to The Daniel Fast (please Google for details), I am going to follow Daniel as closely as I personally can without jeopardizing my health as I see fit.

Over the next 21 days, I will abide from the following diet guidelines (with the exception of Sundays, which are considered days of rest, even from fasting):
• All fruits, vegetables, and legumes are acceptable (and natural peanut butter)
• Fish is acceptable (for me, at least, due to already existing Anemia)
• Whole grain pasta, rice, and bread (I found one site that allows whole wheat bread)
• Water and milk only (I added milk for dietary reasons)
• No sugars (artificial included), No sweets, No fried foods, No cheese(Lord,help me!), No salad dressings with the exception of oil and vinegar
• No CAFFEINE!! (please see small prayer one line above)
• Zero snack foods that do not fall into the first line (i.e. it must be a fruit, veggie or legume)


With it all down on paper, and this blog as my source of accountability, let the hunger pains begin! And when the pains begin, let me remember to say a prayer for the above listed items instead of turning to food to quench that hunger. I pray that I will closer to the Lord over the next 21 days and further from the things that I usually allow to fill me.

I’ll be praying for you all over the next 21 days!

Marley and Me and Kleenex

This past weekend I went to see Marley and Me in search of a romantic comedy and something to warm the heart. Notice that I said warm the heart, not crush the heart. What a tear jerker! As we were leaving the theater, my boyfriend suggested that I might want to go clean my face up a bit in the ladies room, if that gives you any insight into my 4 legged and fur induced agony.

All tears aside, Marley and Me is simply amazing! Although the movie is about an unruly, uncontrollably crazy dog, the story line takes you through 15 years of a married couple's life (insert the adorable Jennifer and Owen). The marriage roller coaster is en route and you find yourself up with them when they celebrate a family victory and your heart breaks for them when they hit rough patches, which all marriages do. It tells a true story about how love and commitment isn't always as the big screens show and that sticking with something you believe in can sometimes be one of the hardest decisions even though it should be simple and clear-cut.

By the end of the movie, I felt like I was part of their family and when the credits began to roll, I was still. I didn't want to leave and face everyone who had listened to me sob for the past 2 hours and yet I couldn't wait to get home and hug my little Wrigley.

Thank God for dogs! Marley and Me allowed me to love my dog even more than I already did, which I didn't think possible. It reminded me that dogs, although frustrating at times, come into our lives and bless us with their constant love and affection. Wrigley could care less if my hair is a mess, if my clothes don't match, or if I am not the wealthiest girl in Charleston. He wakes up with me every morning with a cuddle session and is the most excited thing when I arrive home, even after a 15 minute trip to the grocery store. I've never known a more faithful companion and I thank Marley and Me for capturing that feeling for it's viewers and for capturing my heart along the way.

The Stress of the 3-0

With only a couple more weeks until I enter yet another decade of my life, I cannot help but feel a bit bummed. I'm not necessarily bummed by the number itself, but more so about the party that is looming ahead.

For people that know me, they know that B-days are huge to me! For example, I cried two weeks ago when I had Strep Throat and had to miss my best friend's 30th. Not only do I like big parties, but themes are a must and costumes are often a requirement. I love to celebrate with everyone that I care about and the more the merrier(although due to my choice in living locations, I don't get to celebrate with my family all too often).

This year however seems bigger than usual. I'm turning 30 and I want to start this decade off with not only a bang but an explosion rather. I want to dance with my friends, take tons of pictures, get dressed up, and leave my 20's behind me! The only catch is that I have 0 dollars to spend, everyone has tons going on in their lives right now, and it just doesn't feel like many people are in the mood to celebrate right now.

I guess it's time to get creative. Go big or go home has always been my motto when it comes to b-days, so why should this year be any different? If no one has time to come, I'll be "dancing with myself" in my party dress.

Mission Minded Interview

Two of my good friends, Nathan and Amber Babcock, are full-time missionaries in Nicaragua and I was blessed this past fall by serving under their leadership on my first mission trip. As most of you know based on my past blog entries, my trip to Managua was life changing and one that I'll never forget. What you may not already know is that by God's perfect timing, I was placed on a trip that would be hosted by Nathan, my very first friend at Seacoast and someone (along with his amazing wife of course;) that I hold very dear.

A month or so ago Nathan asked if he could interview me for their blog and I graciously agreed as I never pass up a chance to talk about my trip, the people I met, and Nicaragua itself.

If you're interested, please feel free to check out the interview on their website at:
http://missionsminded.org/2008/11/five-or-six-questions-on-short-term-missions-with-brittany-meyers/

A special thanks to Nathan for allowing me a few minutes to re-live my trip via his interview!